Saturday, March 10, 2012

Voting Question: need help proof reading my short story for English class! **warning; Long**?




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Voting Question: need help proof reading my short story for English class! **warning; Long**?



The year 2061
How old am I now? I’m sixty maybe… but maybe sixty-four. It really doesn’t matter now. It’s been so long, I still remember what it was like though. I still remember the trees and the grass that used to always be there. I remember the blue sky, I remember the sun.
I hate it here, in the elder’s region. It’s supposed to stimulate a similar feeling to that which we grew up in. I’ll admit, it’s nice having a strong, two story house; one with a wrap-around porch and bay window. Despite this comfort, just beyond the house three doors down, the skyscrapers still loom over me. They block out the sun, they keep the smog close to the ground and it’s always cold. It’s been a long time since I saw the sky.
My grandchildren come and visit sometimes. They arrive in front of the house in the grey, metallic school buses that differ so from the bright orange, cubic buses that drove us. They stroll up my “old fashioned” yard in their grey, colorless school uniforms. They never have the colorful buttons or stickers that display smirking cartoon characters, like the ones we wore as children. I don’t enjoy having them over, sometimes I don’t even enjoy my own children. The modern world has sucked the color out of everything, even personalities.
It’s six now, I can hear the television click on. The televisions are set on a timer, every day at six o’clock, whether the TV is on or off, it will turn to the mandatory broadcast. Most sit waiting for the broadcast, waiting to hear our leader’s smooth, clear voice. I find it aggravating. It always begins the same, the screen flickers to the image of our crisp flag. I hate the flag; it has a thousand tiny lines spurting out from all sides to connect in the middle. It is meant to symbolize how our leader conquered all nations and connected them into “one single, powerful nation”; I think it looks like a spastic seven year old got a hold of a straight edge. Then the leader will appear, read off a speech that had been pre-written for him, then leave. And after the pretty, Barbie doll of a spokes-woman reads off any breaking news or new laws, the screen flicks off, or it simply turns back to whatever you had been watching.
My son and his wife will be here tomorrow. They’ll come in their boring grey, uniform SUV with their boring grey children. My son will talk about his work at the steel factory, which is nothing to talk about, considering that everyone works at the factory. Then his wife will talk about life as stay-at-home-mom, which is really nothing to talk about considering that every female is a stay-at-home-mom, mom or not. It’s not the kind of stay at home Moms we had, the ones that never rested, the ones who were constantly on their feet and running the house. No, now stay-at-home-moms were lazy and a bit more than a tad soft around the midsection. This was more than likely due to the fact that every apartment in the city was rigged with state-of-the-art cleaners, ones that vacuumed and wiped down the counters. Then the children at school all day, taking the bus home only to arrive and sit in front of the large television sets in their rooms. The children hardly spoke anyways, “only speak when spoken to” was bored into each child’s brains from the moment they stepped into the cold grey schools.
I hate it here, I hate this world. I despise the grey, colorless buildings that so resemble the people who live within them. I hate the emotionless people who go through every day just the same as the next. Every generation believes themselves superior to the ones following, but I truly believe that they can sink no lower. So I will sit here, in my “old fashioned” chair on my “old fashioned” porch outside my “old fashioned” house, and I will watch their world burn, and I will feel nothing at all.



if you guys could just give my any suggestions or point out any errors that would be great







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